2010年8月22日

好妈妈真能胜过好老师? Chinese Parenting Advice Undergoes a Small Revolution

今天,本栏目将目光投向中国,去探寻那里的一本育儿畅销书,书中鼓励增强孩子的独立性和创造力,这大大不同于中国人的传统育儿建议。)

一本在中国获得巨大成功的中文育儿书提出了这则建议:倾听孩子的心声。

这听起来也许不像是什么革命性的育儿建议,但如同该书作者尹建莉发现的一样,它正革命般地在许多中国家长中引发共鸣。

在中国人带孩子的过程中,培养孩子的信心和独立性并不是一项传统的重点。少数在国内畅销的由本土作者撰写的有关教育子女的书籍大多专注于如何进入好学校,例如《哈佛女孩刘亦婷》。

Victoria Ruan
畅销书《好妈妈胜过好老师》
不过中国中产阶级父母的态度也许正随着财富的不断增加而发生变化。尹建莉在《好妈妈胜过好老师》一书中建议要发展孩子的潜能,而不要强迫他们接受大人的观点,该书受到了中国读者的欢迎,也似乎填补了一个空白。截至目前,这本书自2009年1月首次出版以来已经发行了170万本,位居中国畅销书榜前列。

该书拥有广泛的读者群,从中产阶级父母、教师到孩子保姆和爷爷奶奶,都是它的读者。这本书在提醒父母对孩子不要保护过度的同时,也倡导孩子的独立性和自由。

一位母亲在中国最大的在线零售店之一当当网上留言说,读了这本书之后,她意识到过去在带孩子中用到的许多方法都是错误的,比如考试没考好时责骂或是打孩子。

曾是北京一所公立学校老师的尹建莉鼓励父母允许孩子们进行适当的冒险,并允许他们犯错。她讲述了自己如何鼓励女儿在九岁时独自一人乘坐17个小时的火车从烟台来到北京。

在家里,她建议孩子不要盲目服从于老师的权威,有时甚至公开质疑老师的决定。举个例子,当尹建莉的女儿被要求一晚上对同一个词语抄写十几遍时──这是老师对无法正确记忆某些东西的学生所采用的常用惩罚方式──尹建莉主动提出帮女儿抄写。

尹建莉说布置这种作业很愚蠢。在中国,家长挑战老师的决定,这种现象十分少见。

尹建莉还鼓励女儿不要被狭隘的思维方式所束缚。当一位幼儿园老师告诉她当时只有三岁的女儿不应该把河流涂成粉红色时,尹建莉只是说,河流可以是粉红色的。

读者们,尤其是来自中国的读者,你们所在地方的家庭教育方式是否也发生了类似变化?如果你或是你们家移民到了美国,你们家的教育方式又因此而受到了何种影响?
 
 
Today the Juggle travels to China to explore a bestselling parenting book that encourages more independence and creativity in children - a major shift from traditional Chinese child-rearing advice. Beijing researcher Victoria Ruan filed this report:

A Chinese child-rearing book that has been a runaway success in China has this piece of advice: Listen to your child.

That may not sound like revolutionary parenting advice, but as Yin Jianli, the book's author has found, it has struck a chord with many Chinese parents as just that.

Nurturing a child's confidence and independence is not a traditional cornerstone of Chinese child rearing. The few books on parenting or education by home-grown authors that have managed to sell well in China have mostly focused on how to get into elite schools, such as the book titled 'Harvard Girl Liu Yiting.'

But middle-class Chinese parents' attitudes may be changing along with the country's rising wealth. Yin's book, 'A Good Mom Is Better Than a Good Teacher,' which advocates developing children's potential without forcing them to accept adults' views, has been welcomed by Chinese readers and seems to have filled a void. So far, some 1.7 million copies of the book have been printed since it was first published in January 2009 and the book has topped Chinese bestseller lists.

The book, which has won a broad readership - from middle-class parents and teachers to babysitters and grandparents - encourages independence and freedom while cautioning parents against overprotecting their children.

One mother said on the website for dangdang.com, one of China's biggest online retailers, that after reading the book she realized that many methods she had used in raising her child were wrong, such as scolding or beating her child for failing to achieve a good score.

Yin, a former Beijing public school teacher, urges parents to allow kids to take reasonable risks - and to make mistakes. She describes how she encouraged her daughter, at age nine, to travel alone for 17 hours by train from their home in the eastern coastal city of Yantai to Beijing in the North.

At home, she advised her daughter not to blindly obey teachers' authority, sometimes openly questioning teachers' decisions. For example, when Yin's daughter was asked to copy the same words over a dozen times a night - a common way for teachers to punish students for failing to memorize something correctly - Yin offered to do the work for her.

Yin calls such assignments stupid. For a parent to question a teachers' decision is highly unusual in China.

Yin also encouraged her daughter not to be bound by narrow thinking. When a preschool teacher told the then three-year-old girl that she shouldn't have painted a river pink, Yin simply said, 'Rivers can be pink.'

Juggle readers, especially those from other parts of the globe, have you seen similar shifts in parenting styles where you're from? If you or your family immigrated to the U.S., how did the move affect your family's parenting styles?
 

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