问
：我老板是个挺强势的律师，现在我跟他之间有一点别扭，不知道该怎么办。这几个星期他一直让我做一些根本不属于我职责范围的事情，比如帮他到夏令营营地接孩子，然后在办公室照看孩子直到下班，要么就是替他到干洗店取衣服。我心里清楚，等他夫人从外地回来，一切就会恢复正常，但我还是觉得很不舒服，要知道我在公司的职位是前台，而现在却还得当个人助理。──纽约州纽约市一位读者
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快让他住手！
不要总答应他的过分要求（顺便说一下，这些要求确实过分），这可能对你的职业前途不利。
丹佛大学(University of Denver)丹尼尔斯商学院(Daniels College of Business)院长克莉丝汀口里奥丹(Christine Riordan) 曾研究过逾1500人在20年中的职业经历。她发现太随和、太好说话的员工虽然试图借此给上司留下好印象，但结果往往不尽人意。
她指出，"太好说话会阻碍你的职业发展，影响你的领导效率。"她的研究还显示，太讨人喜欢、太信任别人的员工薪资较低，升职较慢。她说，"凡事都要有度。"
你说你老板夫人回来后"一切就会恢复正常"，其实这和指望你老板平等对待你一样，可能性都不是很大。
就算老板不再让你去接小孩或者去干洗店取衣服，也会支使你做别的事情。你成了肖恩口安克尔（Shawn Achor) 所说的"享受不到平等婚姻好处的办公室妻子"。肖恩口安克尔是一名积极心理学专家，著有《幸福感助你成功》（The Happiness Advantage）一书。
现在该划定界限了。
里奥丹建议首先跟老板坦诚沟通一下，说说你对自己岗位、职责和工作任务的设想。这可以帮助你确定哪些事情属于你的正常工作范围。她说，"不要怕问老板问题，也可以大胆要求老板解释为什么要给你安排某些任务。"
了解老板的想法会对你大有帮助，让你能够在自己的前途问题上做出明智决定。
你的选择无外乎有三种。你可以站起来捍卫自己的权益，让老板知道哪些事你愿意做，哪些事你不愿做；你也可以调整心态，让自己打心眼里觉得做分外的事情很开心，并一直这样做下去；要么你可以辞职，另找份工作。
不管你选择什么，能做出自己的选择就很可贵。工作就是工作，别做一只任人捏的软柿子。
Elizabeth Garone
（本文版权归道琼斯公司所有，未经许可不得翻译或转载。）
Q: I'm in a bit of an awkward situation with my boss who is a high-powered attorney and I'm not sure what to do. For the past few weeks, he has been asking me to do things that are in no way part of my job description, like picking up his kids at camp and then babysitting them at the office until the end of the day or fetching his dry cleaning. I'm pretty sure that things will go back to normal once his wife returns (she's out of town), but in the meantime I feel very uncomfortable playing the part of personal assistant when I was hired as a receptionist.
New York, N.Y.
A: Your boss doesn't quite qualify for a lead role in this summer's Horrible Bosses, but he's clearly taking advantage of you. What's worse: you're letting him.
Stop it!
Always saying yes to his outrageous requests - and they are outrageous, by the way - may be hurting your career prospects.
Christine Riordan, dean of the University of Denver's Daniels College of Business, studied the careers of more than 1,500 people over a 20-year period, and found that employees who are too nice or accommodating can be perceived less favorably by the very people they are trying to impress: their supervisors.
'Being too nice can deter your career progress and muddle your effectiveness as a leader,' she says. Her research also showed that employees who are too likeable and too trusting receive lower salaries and fewer promotions. 'It's all about balance,' she says.
That things will 'go back to normal,' as you put it, once your boss's wife returns, is about as likely as your boss treating you as an equal - not very.
If it's not picking up the kids or his dry cleaning, it will be something else. You've become an 'office wife but with none of the benefits of an equal marriage,' says Shawn Achor, author of The Happiness Advantage and a positive-psychology expert.
It's time to set some boundaries.
Start by having a candid conversation with your boss. Explain your expectations regarding your role, responsibilities and activities, suggests Ms. Riordan. This will help you pin down what's within the range of normal for your job. 'Don't be afraid to ask questions, or for an explanation of your activities,' she says.
If you can get a sense of what your boss is thinking, you'll be in a much better position to make an informed decision about your own future.
Most likely, it will come down to three choices. You stand up for yourself and let your boss know what you will and won't do; you decide that you actually like the breaks from answering the phones and you keep doing it; or you find yourself another job.
Whatever you choose, relish the fact that you made up your own mind. Your job is to do your job, not to be a pushover.
Elizabeth Garone
New York, N.Y.
A: Your boss doesn't quite qualify for a lead role in this summer's Horrible Bosses, but he's clearly taking advantage of you. What's worse: you're letting him.
Stop it!
Always saying yes to his outrageous requests - and they are outrageous, by the way - may be hurting your career prospects.
Christine Riordan, dean of the University of Denver's Daniels College of Business, studied the careers of more than 1,500 people over a 20-year period, and found that employees who are too nice or accommodating can be perceived less favorably by the very people they are trying to impress: their supervisors.
'Being too nice can deter your career progress and muddle your effectiveness as a leader,' she says. Her research also showed that employees who are too likeable and too trusting receive lower salaries and fewer promotions. 'It's all about balance,' she says.
That things will 'go back to normal,' as you put it, once your boss's wife returns, is about as likely as your boss treating you as an equal - not very.
If it's not picking up the kids or his dry cleaning, it will be something else. You've become an 'office wife but with none of the benefits of an equal marriage,' says Shawn Achor, author of The Happiness Advantage and a positive-psychology expert.
It's time to set some boundaries.
Start by having a candid conversation with your boss. Explain your expectations regarding your role, responsibilities and activities, suggests Ms. Riordan. This will help you pin down what's within the range of normal for your job. 'Don't be afraid to ask questions, or for an explanation of your activities,' she says.
If you can get a sense of what your boss is thinking, you'll be in a much better position to make an informed decision about your own future.
Most likely, it will come down to three choices. You stand up for yourself and let your boss know what you will and won't do; you decide that you actually like the breaks from answering the phones and you keep doing it; or you find yourself another job.
Whatever you choose, relish the fact that you made up your own mind. Your job is to do your job, not to be a pushover.
Elizabeth Garone
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